Making An Operating System Faster

Excellent article on some optimizations in Mac OS X. Not really any new techniques, but still quite fascinating.

–plambert

Human Virus Scanner

The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.

Viruses you suffer from:

Linux

Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

Junkfood

Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

Sci-fi

Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

Free BSD

The GPL isn’t that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.

8-Bit

Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.

UNIX

Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.

Discordia

Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

Windows

Try MacOS X. It’s based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn’t suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.

vi

Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.

Computer Games

Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.

Conspiracy Theory

Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary.

Environmentalism

Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Macintosh

Use a mouse with more than one button.

Viruses you might suffer from:

Gaming (70%)

Life is not a game.
Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.

Religion (70%)

Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

Politics (95%)

Stop caring!

Brand Names (80%)

Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good.

X11 (60%)

I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.

Ultima (90%)

If you find one tell us.

Prog Rock (60%)

Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD’s they don’t crackle.